When I went home from my no-fins dive, I had less than 1 hour to announce for the bifins dive. I had previously decided to go with 98m, but after my little incident I didnt know if it was such a good idea.
Despite telling myself that I wouldn’t base my announcement on other freedivers numbers, I was acutely aware that everything over 95 was going to be a medal dive. I didnt know how my mind and my body would respond to the blackout; some people feel like shit after. I didnt have a headache, I didnt feel low on energy, and I wasn’t upset really, but would I agonize over it tomorrow when I’m at the official line?
Some people blackout left and right and casually do PB’s next day.
Jeez, all this thinking was just exasperating both me and my captain who was yelling a countdown for how many minutes I had left before the announcement time was up, so I wrote 97 on my phone and pressed send.
When I got there next morning the sea was quite choppy, just like at home, and even though that disturbs many, I find it quite cosy.
I slept well; I didnt feel so nervous, but I kept checking my thoughts with some curiosity, to see if and when I was going to break down or if I would keep my shit together. I started my dive quite ok, I definitely did not hyperventilate, but at some point I felt some tension in my stomach. That is a sign that I’m not 100% relaxed which is bad because when that happens usually I can’t equalise very deep.
And sure enough at 70 I was already out of mouthfill, I reversed pack a bit but it quickly became hard; I hoped to hear my 90m alarm because I could probably squeeze those extra few meters in but the alarm didnt come and I knew I wasnt gonna make it, so at 85 I turned.
I was still wondering how fresh I would get back up at the surface, and indeed I was: no leg burn, no brain burn. Now I know I could have made the dive despite yesterday blackout.
This knowledge didnt help me that day but it will help me next time (even though I’d prefer not to blackout again; on the other hand I made peace with the fact that it may happen and that I can deal with that without the need for psychotherapy).
The end (well not quite, the epilogue is coming).
